[Speaking foreign language]
Ok, should I thank you or slap you?
It's international week at school,
and I've learned to say things in 10 different languages.
And I've learned to snore in 10 different languages.
Excuse me. Excuse me. Don't touch me. Don't touch me.
Maddie, did you stock the Sushi candy?
And the seaweed cookies.
Yum!
What are we having, a convention of seals?
Orr orr orr!
No, an important Japanese company is coming,
and it would be swell if they came again next year.
So I would like them to feel at home.
How come you never want us to feel at home?
You're kidding, right?
Oh, moseby-San?
Mr. Nakamura.
It's very good to meet you.
Welcome to the tipton.
Oh!
Oh, not you!
Tell me--stay!
How was your flight?
I'll ask him in Japanese.
I guess it was bumpy.
No.
♪ Here I am in your life ♪
♪ here you are in mine ♪
♪ yes, we have a suite life ♪
♪ most of the time ♪
♪ you and me, we got the world to see ♪
♪ so come on down ♪
♪ just me and you know what to do ♪
♪ so come on down ♪
♪ it's you and me and me and you ♪
♪ we got the whole place to ourselves ♪
♪ you and me, we got it all for free ♪
♪ so come on down ♪
♪ this is the suite life ♪
♪ we've got a suite life ♪
Boy, am I tired.
I've been working all day.
On your history paper?
No, I have people for that.
I've been going through my old clothes.
I'm getting rid of them.
Oh, look.
Here's the outfit I wore on the plane
going to Paris last weekend.
And here's the outfit I wore getting off the plane.
I've been wearing the same socks for a week.
[Sniffing] Oh.
I thought that smell was seaweed cookies.
Throwing out these clothes seems so wasteful.
Why don't you, I don't know,
give them to a really close friend?
You're right. Norman!
How would you like a pink chiffon skirt?
Not him.
Ok, maybe I was too subtle.
When I said give them to a friend,
I meant me!
You know, sometimes you are dumber than a sack of hammers.
Would a friend call another friend
dumber than a sack of hammers?
If they were really close,
like we are.
Friends tease.
Oh, I get it.
So why don't you come up before school tomorrow
and take what you want from my closet,
you stick-legged, frizzy-haired freak.
Thanks, buddy.
Watch your back.
Oh, my word.
Watch your front.
Oh!
Watch your back again.
Whoa!
Oh! Get out--
this is not a fun house!
And I cannot have hooligans rolling through my lobby.
Whee!
Hi. So sorry.
Hi.
Whoa!
Oh! Sorry again.
Don't worry about it.
That was kind of fun.
You gotta be careful with those luggage carts.
They're tricky to stop.
Perhaps because they weren't meant to be ridden.
That explain the bad brakes.
I am kumiko mori.
Oh...
Mmm.
Mori-San, it is an honor
to have such a great star at my hotel.
Our friends at Nakamura are looking forward to hearing you sing.
Now, how was your flight?
Too long.
It gave me a big wedgie.
I know how you feel.
I get those every day at lunch.
And I'm the one who gives them to him.
Ok.
Let me show you to your room.
Wait. I want to practice my Japanese.
Don't send a fruit basket to my room.
Oh, mom, look at my eiffel tower.
Wow! That came out great.
I can almost smell the croissants.
Zack, what did you do for your international project?
Nothing yet.
I've been too busy helping Cody with his.
Here you go.
You'd better figure out what you're going to do.
Ah, don't worry. I've got international day covered.
Bringing in a slice of Swiss cheese doesn't count.
What if I put it on a German kaiser roll?
[Knock on door]
Hello.
Zack and Cody here?
Uh...
Boys, why is there a woman with a fish at the door?
Mori-San.
Hi.
We invited our friend over for dinner.
She's a famous singer from Japan.
Oh, yes!
You're performing at the Nakamura convention.
I'm also a singer.
Oh, you famous, too?
Singing in front of lots of people making lots of money.
No. No.
My fan club.
Mom, kumiko's making us a traditional Japanese dinner.
Oh, well, which would explain the fish.
Welcome to our home. Do you need any help cooking dinner?
No. No.
Do you have children?
No. Smart move.
Should I make the Sushi now?
Please. It's like watching a show.
Hyah!
Which I'll be watching from over there.
Look at those moves.
That delicate knife work,
that incredible precision.
I'm just hoping I don't get the eyeball.
Don't worry. As a sign of respect,
I will save the eyeballs for mommy.
Oh, goodie.
You can learn a lot about a culture
by the way they prepare their foods.
That's it! I could take kumiko to school tomorrow
as my international project.
Project?
Honey, we don't refer to our dinner guests as projects,
especially when they're holding giant knives.
I would love to be Zack's project.
Oh, this is awesome.
I'm getting dinner and an "a."
You're going to be much cooler than a slice of cheese.
I get that a lot.
I can't believe your closet has 4 levels.
Thank goodness you have an escalator.
Well, I've already worn these twice,
so go ahead. Take whatever you want.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
I am so sorry for every mean thing I've ever said about you.
You say mean things about me?
No. Where did you hear that?
Ooh!
Oh, this is beautiful.
I wonder where I'd wear this.
Wear it to a fruit stand.
You look like a lime.
I thought you had this obnoxious mirror upstairs in winterworld.
No, I have an obnoxious mirror in all my closets,
but they all love me.
Ooh, why don't you try some of the clothes up there.
It's stuff I thought about wearing, but never actually touched.
Ooh, I like this blue sweater.
I can almost get it.
I'm gonna need a suitcase to carry all this stuff.
Grab it out of luggageland.
Ok.
Uh-oh. The clothes avalanche
seems to have broken the handle off the door.
Is there another way out?
Nope.
Help! Help!
Did I mention you're going to miss the new spring fashions coming out?
Aah!
Help! Help!
Help! Please!
Do this...Then this...
Bend this.
Then you have pretty bird.
Or snowballs.
[Class laughs]
So that's pretty much your typical day in Japan.
When you're not eating Sushi, you're folding stuff.
[Bell rings]
Too bad we didn't get a chance to get to the karaoke.
Oh, yes. Too bad.
I do a great Britney Spears.
That was spectacular, Zack.
Really spectacular.
I felt like we were in Japan.
Me, too.
Just like Japan.
Hey, ladies.
What do you think of my eiffel tower?
Oh, is that the eiffel tower?
I thought it was an oil Derrick.
Hey, girls, you know what the most beautiful thing in Japan is?
No. What?
You if you went there.
Ladies, wait up.
I have some fun facts about France you'll just love.
Did you know the average frenchman
consumes 18 pounds of croissants each year?
Wait! But not all at once.
Good job. Really good job.
Zack?
Cody?
Oh...Must be lunch time.
Help.
Your turn, London.
Help.
It isn't helping.
I am so hungry. I missed breakfast.
I hear you. This morning my hollandaise sauce was curdled,
so all I had was a caviar omelet
with French toast and a banana nut muffin on the side.
[Sighs]
Even when I've had breakfast,
I've never had breakfast like that.
Tell me about the muffin. Was it moist?
Uh-huh. Moist on the inside
and crunchy on the outside.
[Sighs] It's like I could taste it.
Oh, I know!
We can use my cell phone to order pizza.
You have a cell phone?
Uh-huh.
Then how about we call down to moseby
and let him know we're locked in a closet?
Oh! And we can get the pizza from him.
No.
He can let us out.
Better.
I can't get a signal.
Wait a minute.
It seems to be getting stronger when I hold it up.
Here, let me get on your back. Hurry.
Ooh, I got a signal!
[Cell phone rings]
Hello.
Hey, portia.
She did? When?
She did not.
Tell her we're locked in the closet.
I told her a thousand times not to.
Tell her we're locked in the closet.
I know. She's just one of those people
you can't tell anything to.
Tell her!
Portia, before I forget, maddie and I are--
[phone beeps]
Hello?
Battery died.
Aah!
This is hopeless.
We're never going to get out of here.
[Gasps] I've got an idea.
Why don't we ram the door down.
Well, what will we use?
The mirror.
Doesn't 7 years of bad luck mean anything to you?
I know the boys are late,
and it's important that kumiko be here,
but I'm telling you, they're gonna walk through that door any second.
Oh, thank goodness!
Hmm. Zack, Cody,
where's kumiko?
I'll only tell you if you promise not to get angry.
I promise.
Zack lost her at school.
[Straining]
Ho!
Aah!
I think he's angry.
Mmm.
How do you lose a woman?
You forget to cherish her.
Oh!
Aw. And that's why you're my special little man.
People, focus!
The Nakamura executives
are expecting a brilliant Japanese singer in less than an hour,
and what am I to do?
Mom's a brilliant singer.
There's just one problem: She's not Japanese.
Actually, I dated a Japanese guy in college.
Oh! Oh! Oh!
And we were in a production of the mikado.
I'm not sure I remember all the words.
Well, you could write them on the inside of your sensu.
Excuse me?
Your ceremonial fan.
It's been used in the Japanese culture for centuries.
What? Every now and then I listen.
You know, that is not a bad idea.
I don't know.
I'll pay you 350 yen.
Mmm. Done.
Yes! I'm making 350 yen.
That's about $3.00.
Oh...
Moseby: Aah!
What? I'm hungry, and it's not bad.
Is that alligator?
Yes, but it tastes like chicken.
Well, I would never stoop so low.
[Sniffing]
How come your breath smells so minty fresh?
Well...
While you were napping, I kind of went through my purse
and ate the leftover candy at the bottom.
What? And you didn't save any for me?
I saved one--
in case I get hungry later.
I want that purse.
You can't have it. Stop!
Give it to me! No!
No. Give it. It's mine!
No!
Oh! Oh! Spit it out! Spit it out!
Spit it out! Spit it out! Spit it out!
[Candy clatters]
Oh!
Oh, no!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
I almost stepped on my purse!
No! No! No!
Mm-hmm.
Dust bunny. Pblblblbl.
Ha ha ha ha!
Ladies and gentlemen, I promised you a fabulous Japanese singing act,
so here's a... Japanese singing act.
Welcome toshika and the pips.
♪ Three little maids from school are we ♪
♪ pert as a schoolgirl well can be ♪
♪ filled to the brim with girlish glee ♪
♪ three little maids from school ♪
♪ everything is a source of fun ♪
♪ nobody's safe, for we care for none ♪
♪ life is a joke that has just begun ♪
♪ three little maids from school ♪
Whoo! They're very good.
Mori-San, where have you been?
I got a tie for you.
Ah. Oh...
♪ Three little maids who, all unwary ♪
♪ come from a ladies' seminary ♪
♪ freed from its genius tutelary ♪
♪ three little maids from school ♪
Mori-San, do you think you could save this night from disaster?
No.
But I already spent my paycheck,
so I owe you.
Well, hope you enjoyed that little comedy act.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Now for some real entertainment...
Kumiko mori!
The stage is all yours.
No. We sing together.
Really? Yes.
But you two look goofy.
You sing backup.
So back up.
What should we sing?
Something we both know.
Um...
[Singing opera]
How about that?
Yeah, I can't do that since I had kids.
Ok.
How about you don't bring me flowers anymore?
Why would I bring you flowers?
Just pick something.
At this point, I'd settle for
if you're happy and you know it.
I know that. I know that.
[Sighs]
[Singing in Japanese]
♪ If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands ♪
♪ if you're happy and you know it ♪
♪ then your face will surely show it ♪
♪ if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands ♪
♪ if you're happy and you know it, stomp your feet ♪
[Singing in Japanese]
♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪
♪ and you really wanna show it ♪
♪ if you're happy and you know it, stomp your feet ♪
[Singing in Japanese]
♪ If you're happy and you know it, shout ole! ♪
Ole! Ole! Ole!
♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪
♪ then you really ought to show it ♪
♪ if you're happy and you know it, shout ole ♪
Ole! Ole! Ole!
Excellent show, Mr. moseby.
Thank you, Mr. Nakamura.
♪ If you're coming back next year and you know it, clap your hands ♪
Oh, that's good!
Pfft. Nice tie.
Nice dress.
Touche.
I'm always complaining about my life,
but right now, I realize it's been pretty good.
Well, of course it is.
You have a great life.
You think so?
Yeah. Look at all the people who like you.
And they must like you for you,
since you're poor and hideously dressed.
Thank you.
Well, people like you, too, London.
Yeah, but I'm rich,
and when you're rich, you never know
if people like you for you
or your stuff.
Well, I don't like you for your stuff.
In fact, I hate your stuff.
It's the reason why we're trapped in this closet.
Well, how about this.
There's no one I'd rather spend my last moments with.
[Laughs]
Moseby: London? London!
It's moseby!
Out of my way!
Moseby, we're here. Help!
We're in here!
Help!
There you are.
I've been calling your suite for hours.
What is this?
Thank goodness you're here.
There was a clothes avalanche,
and the door handle broke off,
and we've been stuck in here all day,
and we're starving.
Is the dinner buffet still open?
Yes, for another 10 minutes.
Let's go!
Girls. Girls.
Oh, girls. Girls...Oh.
You can't...I--I...
Mirror: Like the suit,
but what's with that tie?
The guy couldn't guess your weight?